Archives for April 2016

The Baby’s Room

April 29, 2016 by Leslie Leave a Comment

I love looking at beautifully designed nurseries. There’s nothing more inspiring to visions of perfect motherhood than a teak rocking chair next to a decorative end table in bright colors (see: anything from Land of Nod).

That kind of nursery was never in the cards for me. First, the budget for all that teak furniture is way out of my reach. I knew that I didn’t have the time to agonize over each item that would populate the room. Not to mention all the gifts we received (and appreciated!) that didn’t fit in my narrow vision for the room. But looking at beautifully designed nurseries does get me wondering what other people do in their baby’s room.

A few people have shared their rooms with us (yay!), so we’re showing their perspectives about decorating a real, live baby’s room with real-people budgets….

Shortcut: A pre-made breakfast buffet

April 28, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

My brother gets hung up on certain foods from time to time, and lately he’s been super into breakfast plates. He’s also dating a British woman, and after a recent trip to the United Kingdom, he’s been using the word “brekky.” Thus, he has dubbed this shortcut a #brekkyhack.

So let’s talk about this morning time-saver, which we’ve seen hailed as a Turkish-inspired feast on Reddit and featured as a “breakfast board” on Cup of Jo.

The idea is this: Either for your daily breakfast, or to host a quick get-together, you prep a bunch of pre-made foods, store in your refrigerator or pantry (if no refrigeration needed), and throw them onto a platter to assemble your feast. The top image (from Ikea, link opens in Swedish) shows some open-faced brekky sandwiches with veggies, eggs and smoked fish, which could be easily assembled from your mega-platter. My brother’s platter (below) includes eggs, hummus, veggies, cheese, and nuts.

Think:

Berries or cut-up fruit
Hard-boiled eggs
Hearty bread slices
Good cheeses or cheese spreads
Smoked salmon
Nuts
Olives
Veggies (pre-cut into slices or sticks)
Hummus
Nutella, jam, butter or honey
Yogurt (plain or flavored, depending on how you like it) + granola

2016-04-26 If you’re more of a “breakfast carbs” person, here are three recipes to consider mixing up your platter:

Maple apple granola
Healthy breakfast cookies
Tartine’s country bread (pictured below, made by my brother)
Not a carb: One-minute slice (no bake-cookie, in bar form)

Finally, you may look at some of these foods and think, “Veggies and hummus for breakfast? NO THANKS.” In which case, TA-DA. We’ve just given you a #dinnerhack. You’re welcome.

2016-03-25

Decisions: I moved to America for love

April 26, 2016 by Suzanne 2 Comments

Decisions is a series dedicated to the choices we make in our lives and the factors that led us to our given resolutions. We welcome guest posts to this series to hear about how you’ve tackled a life decision. Email your story ideas to thesmartdomestic@gmail.com.

In today’s post, Hannah Nersasian discusses how she ended up in America after a long-term, long-distance relationship that started in Italy more than a decade ago.

Committing to long-term, long-distance love

By Hannah Nersasian

In February 2010, I left my parent’s house in Devon, England, and moved to America to get married. I’d only been back in Devon for a few months after leaving my job in London, but the return to the countryside (and daily dog-walks, morning coffee and evening wine with my mother) served only to emphasize all I was leaving behind. I was moving towards love and a whole new life but the transition involved a couple of weeks where I woke up crying and proceeded to leak tears the rest of the day. Even as I embraced marriage and celebrated finally inhabiting the same continent as my husband, I grieved the loss of country and the separation from my family. I grieved for familiarity and sense of belonging….

Our relationship to the world

April 20, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

parenthood and creativity (1)

In “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Mom,” Kim Brooks wrestles with balancing creativity and parenting.
(via New York magazine)

Stay-at-home mom vs. daddy daycare

April 19, 2016 by Leslie 2 Comments

When my co-blogger told me the news that her husband, Robb, would be quitting his job and taking care of their first baby, I wasn’t surprised. He is one of those guys that is great with kids, ready for his new life as a dad, and didn’t really care for his job anyways.

In my case, I didn’t decide until after my maternity leave that I would stay home. I was racked with indecision. I thought about studies that showed moms that worked had more independent and successful daughters. I thought about anecdotal stories of babies becoming aggressive from too much daycare. Was it better for me to stay home or for me to keep working? I didn’t really like my job. My husband loved his and made enough to support us, so I stayed home….

Manifesto: 9 ways to tend your relationships

April 14, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

Manifesto- Tend your relationships

I’ve made some serious changes in my life to make sure my relationships are strong. The biggest change was abandoning an urban life in Chicago (a city my husband and I loved!) to move close to my family in Ohio. I love my relatives more than fancy restaurants, convenient public transportation, and hip co-workers.

A ton of research supports the idea that healthy relationships are key for a long, happy life. (The Atlantic recently suggested via headline that “relationships are more important than ambition.”)

But when I say “tend your relationships,” I don’t necessarily mean moving close to your nuclear family. That’s not a great option for a lot of people (financially, professionally, personally, emotionally, whatever the case). Instead, I mean: Make time for people you love. Visit them, call them, support them when they need it, share meals, and be mindful of them.

If you want to be a better adult, you have to pay attention to your relationships and put in the work to keep them healthy.

Part of being a good friend is putting yourself out there, sharing vulnerable truths, offering to help when they’re in tough situations, and making time for them. My closest friends are the ones who don’t mind whether the time together is a major event (like a wedding or baby shower) or a mundane one (like a trip to the grocery store or a night watching Magic Mike XXL).

Putting time into my relationships is why I left my husband and son for a long weekend, to re-connect with girlfriends on the east coast. It’s why I carve out time for casual dinner dates with my husband. It’s why I occasionally pop over to a friend’s house at lunch time while she’s home with kids. If relationships are important to you, you have to be conscientious about the time you put into them.

I’m not an expert, but I do have some good, longtime friendships and close relationships with my siblings and parents. Here are some things I do (and you can do, too) to strengthen your relationships through seemingly small acts.

9 ways to tend your relationships

Send your sister a text message when you want to make fun of The Voice (or some other show you both love to watch).
Write an email to a friend in another city to ask how her week is.
Instant-message your brother a photo of the meal you just made and ask what he’s eating.
Meet a friend at the bookstore to chat and drink coffee. (Optional: bring your kids and let them go crazy at the train table.)
Call your college roommate and find out what’s new in her life. (Or text her first to find out if she’s free tonight for the call.)
Schedule a weekend lunch with your parents, just because. (And if you can, treat them.)
Tell your husband “thank you” when he does some household task you hate or finishes a project that’s been in progress (in our case: stripping the very old wallpaper from our living room).
Book plane tickets to visit old friends who live across the country (after consulting them first, of course!).
Invite friends over for pizza, beer and movie night. (Or game night. Or Saturday brunch. Or Sunday grilling.)

This is the first in our “Manifesto for Adulthood” series, where we share our philosophies for being a better adult in the modern world.

Now tell us: How are you tending your relationships?

It’s National Library Week!

April 13, 2016 by Leslie Leave a Comment

card catalog 2

Did you forget about your libraries? Because I did. After spending hours roaming the stacks of the Alden Library at Ohio University, I just forgot. I ran out into the world, bought a Kindle, looked up factoids on Wikipedia, and bought books for pennies on Amazon. I’ve been able to afford a computer and internet access since my college days. I didn’t really think the library had anything to offer me. Surely, I could find anything I needed just by Googling it!

But libraries are literally everywhere. (Justin Grimes, a statistician from the Institute of Museum and Library Services created a map of all the individual libraries and museums in the United States. Read more about it on Every Library and Museum in America, mapped by Emily Badger.)

Nevertheless, even if you own all the books you’ll ever need and you have internet access, the library is still a place to seek out.

Library are places to learn from your community.

A good library will have programs and services that meet the needs of its community. Right now, you can find help for tax preparation, play groups for parents of young children, crafts for all ages, and venues to meet and connect with people in your neighborhood.

Digital resources are available.

Apps like Overdrive and Hoopla allow you to download books, audio books, and videos to use on your mobile devices for free. All you need is a library card.

Find anything via inter-library loan.

There are more books available than you realize. Most libraries belong to a consortium, and books can be requested from other libraries. So even if your neighborhood library is small, you can probably get what you need.

And let’s not forget that you’ve already paid for it.

Your taxes go to support your local library, meaning you might as well take advantage of it.

So go find your nearest library and get a card. If you’re spending your days tending to a brood of offspring, seek out your peers by going to a “Baby and Me” class. And while you’re at it, grab something to read or download a free e-book from your library’s electronic resources. Remember, reading is fundamental!

If you happen to be in my neck of the woods, come visit me at the Matawan-Aberdeen Public Library where I help patrons find books, sing songs to toddlers, and create crafts with teens. While you’re at it, get a library card!

Image via the Library of Congress here

Decisions: I used a week of vacation to celebrate 30

April 11, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

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In today’s post, Meryl Williams explains why she took a full week to celebrate the big 3-0.

A Birthday Stay-cation

by Meryl Williams

Back in January, the moment I had a fresh year to plan time off from my day job, I asked for the week of my 30th birthday off. I unabashedly love my own birthday, but this was the first time I used vacation time for it. Thirty felt like a bigger deal than usual. I love my job and my company, and I know not everyone is in the position to take a week of vacation for a birthday, but getting the week off felt like a smart thing for me to do for several reasons.
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The Dutch oven Mexican stand-off in my kitchen

April 8, 2016 by Suzanne 2 Comments

My husband and I share most household duties, but dishes are an ongoing pain. Sure, we have a dishwasher (which became a requirement after our first marital apartment did not). But there are lots of things you can’t put in the machine, namely Crock-Pots (too big), blenders (weird shape, too tall) and the worst offender of all, the Dutch oven.

We like to make soups and stews, so the Dutch oven gets used pretty often in our house. (My husband likes to make beef stew or slow-cooked pork chops; I tend to do curried lentils or split pea soup.) That big, heavy pot is perfect for simmering at low heat for hours.

But then, we eat all the stew, or move it into smaller containers for lunchtime portions. And the empty pot sits on the stove for a few days.

At some point, it moves to the sink or the counter.

Other dishes move in and out of the sink, through a wash cycle, into the drying rack, back into the cupboards.

But the Dutch oven? It sits.

Soaks.

Re-soaks.

Stinks.

Stinks more.

Finally one of use caves and washes it. In the most recent stand-off, it was me at the sink, ruining my gel manicure, fuming as I scrubbed the heavy lid and pot.

Who wins? Who loses? Did I win, because the pot is clean, I don’t have to see it in the sink anymore, and I can lord it over my husband for future chore karma? Or did he win, because he didn’t have to wash the Dutch oven? Did I lose, because I had to scour and scrub while holding my breath? Did he lose, because I was cranky about my dishpan hands all night?

I’d love to say we’ll learn our lesson and clean the dirty dish quickly next time, but history says we’ll continue to repeat our mistakes.

Someone please tell me we’re not the only household experiencing weekly Mexican stand-offs in the kitchen.

Images via the Library of Congress here and here

Decisions: I got married young

April 5, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

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In today’s post, guest contributor Emily Glover talks about why she got married as a college student.

Undergrad and newlywed

by Emily Glover

“Do you think they will still give us a bottle of champagne to pop?”

My husband-to-be assured me there likely would be — after all, he would be 21. Still, as if I didn’t already know it, the inclusion of a bottle of champagne in the wedding package was a big reminder that I was younger than the typical bride. But despite the barriers both big and small that we faced, the decision to get married when I was 20 was a deliberate one, which did come with a champagne toast.

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