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Decisions: Back to full-time

August 22, 2016 by Leslie Leave a Comment

Back to full-time

Decisions is a series dedicated to the choices we make in our lives and the factors that led us to our given resolutions. We welcome guest posts to this series to hear about how you’ve tackled a life decision. Email your story ideas to thesmartdomestic@gmail.com.

A little over a year ago, I quit my job as a consultant to stay home full-time with my daughter. It’s incredible to think it has only been a year. The stress, the joy, the sleeplessness, the firsts, and the snuggles: they all blur together. They’re muddled in my mind as one big, gooey ball of my new life. Since my co-blogger has returned to work after the birth of her second child, questions about how to balance work and family still come up as we talk to each other and navigate our lives.

Here’s the blog post I blissfully wrote when I quit my job. It meant only worrying about home and baby for a while. Now, that I’m on the other side of that, I’m ready for a change. For myself (mostly) and for others who are at this point or going to be, here are some of the reasons why I’ve accepted a full-time position at my library. (I had previously been working part-time, 3 days a week.)

Mental break

I know that I need more sleep. I know that I need to eat healthy, stretch, exercise, and rest. I had no idea that I would need to take mental breaks from life at home. It wasn’t on my radar. Work for me is that mental break. Everything at the library is somewhat in my control; solutions are to be had, mysteries are easily solvable, there is a schedule, and my patrons are great to be around. At 17 months, my daughter can be unpredictable. What she liked yesterday, she doesn’t like today, and then I am searching through the cupboards trying to fill her belly with something she will eat. At work, I don’t have to worry about this for 8 hours. I push it from my mind and take a break. It is absolutely crazy that work gives me that break, but it does.

Educational play

We play with the alphabet magnets, we sing songs, read books, and I talk up a storm with her. But quite frankly, I am too pooped from a long day of just watching her to do activities or make plans for educational play beyond that. That is why I am happy to send her to daycare. With other kids she can paint, go in the sprinkler, play with sand, squish play-dough between her fingers, learn social skills, and gain a little independence from mama. I’m totally committed to giving her every learning opportunity I am capable of, but there is no sense in making myself crazy. I’ll take the help where I can get it.

Opportunity

I didn’t actively seek going back to work full-time. It just happened that a position opened up at the right time. It’s a move upward and a pay increase. Not to mention, finding full-time work in libraries is difficult, so when an opportunity presents itself, you take it. I’m looking forward to taking on more responsibility and continuing to create a great library experience for every patron that walks through the door. I also like that my career journey continues. I made a personal master plan seven years ago, and while the details are different than what I imagined, I’m continuing to move and grow.

I can’t help but come back to the most important reason why this all makes sense for me; I got a year home with my daughter. I am incredibly lucky that my husband and I were able to make that happen. In the United States, we’re not guaranteed paid time off after the birth of a child. More than one friend has told me about how horrible it felt that first day back: thinking of the baby, being uncomfortable, not being able to concentrate on work. I fortunately only experienced two weeks of that before I quit. But having a year to adjust and get used to life with a child made going back to work full-time an easy decision.

Tell us your experience going back to work. What was it like for you? Is there any advice you would give to those who are returning? Post a comment below, on Facebook, or email thesmartdomestic@gmail.com. 

Filed Under: Decisions Tagged With: babies, decisions, maternity leave, motherhood, work, work-life balance, working mom

Everybody’s better…

March 8, 2016 by Suzanne Leave a Comment

free work

Wise words from Melinda Gates, via her 2016 annual letter about women and unpaid work

 

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: housework, labor, marriage, motherhood, parenting, work

In real life: What are you stressed about?

March 2, 2016 by Suzanne 2 Comments

stress

Adulthood and parenting are stressful, and we don’t need studies to tell us that.

But ok, here are a few in case you need evidence to agree:

  1. Middle-school kids cause more stress for parents than infants.
  2. And even our cells are stressed.

So we asked our friends, “What are you stressed about right now?” to see what they’d say. Here are their answers:

WORK

  • My new boss
  • Work. Although we really try to leave work worries at the front door, that has become increasingly harder to do.
  • Too much work, too little time to do it. Oh, and the massive cost of childcare that eclipses our mortgage 🙁
  • My career! Not doing something I feel passionate about, but not sure what to do next.
  • Going to work//getting up early to drive snowy roads (Blog note: We surveyed a few weeks ago when winter was still terrorizing half the country.) 

HOME

  • My husband is leaving for two weeks on business. That means I will have no breaks from child care unless I pay for it.
  • We’re buying a new house and selling ours. It just went on the market. I’m so unhappy about the whole thing. I love our house. It’s the right time for our family, but the logistics are just so challenging.

PARENTING

  • I’m stressed this week because I’m grappling with my own (unrealistic?) expectations of what it means to be a stay-at-home mom.
  • Air travel with baby
  • As always, being a decent parent and person. Also, a 7-year-old who loves contradiction.

OTHER/EVERYTHING

  • Why I choose to spend my life in Winterfell. (As noted above,  winter was really crushing some souls.) 
  • Work and love-life
  • What am I not stressed about? Pregnancy woes, work, choosing a preschool, husband’s job…

Anything stressful you need to get off your chest? The comments are open for your venting/complaints/commiseration. 

Filed Under: Real Talk Tagged With: anxiety, parenting, stress, work

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